Friendships

Friends are the family we get to choose. Although these relationships can develop at any point in life and last for any amount of time, we choose them. Not knowing how long they will last or if they change. I still remember my first friend. We were 5 and her name was Caitlyn. I thought she was the coolest kid. She had a pool and I didn’t. In my mind, that made her the coolest. We attended the same church and remained friendly throughout the years. Sometimes we were super close BFFs and other times we were both crushing on the same guy. Then there was that time her ex dumped her and he and I started going out a few weeks later (whoops!). Teenage years sure are a trip! We always said when we were young that we would be friends forever. Maybe if I had never left home that would be true. When I went away to college neither one of us attempted to stay in touch at all and so the friendship just fizzled away.

In the 8th grade I met one of my very best friends in the world, Eleni. Magnificent is the word that comes to mind when I think of her. She is the type of person who lights up a room when she walks in. She loves fashion, purses, Chanel and is one of the kindest people you will ever meet. In high school we would always plan our course schedules together so most of our classes were together. Since we always made the honor roll we were able to leave school during our free period. We would jet off in her Mercedes to her parents hot tub, play some hip hop and sneak the occasional drink from her parents bar. I wanted to spend every minute with her. She was fabulous and not afraid to own exactly who she was. I was more of the people pleaser who would change my opinions based on who I was with at the time. Thankfully I have somewhat outgrown that quality. She is one of my Maids of Honor in my wedding and I am so grateful that our friendship has stood the test of time. Being 6 years post grad and still being able to have a friend that you met in middle school is a big accomplishment in my book. It is very rare to find someone like her and she will be in my life forever.

When I went away to college I ignored a lot of advice that had been given to me. I didn’t go to school with any of my friends. I wanted to carve my own path. Be a new person. I was in a new place and these people didn’t know Jessica. I needed a fresh start which began with new people and for the first time in my life, a roommate. Becky had sent me a friend request on Facebook the summer before college began. I searched all over her profile and went through every photo she had posted. I wanted to learn everything. From what my initial research had gathered; she liked reading, cats, had a boyfriend with shaggy hair and in her own words “didn’t like meeting new people”. Wow. My bubbly personality and all pink bedroom was going to a be a big shock for this girl. I still remember the first day being dropped off in our room together with our families all around, crying of course.

That first year was really hard. Right away I joined a club all because a cute guy was in it, I was in a prayer group, I enjoyed floor hangouts and going to basketball games and I quickly started meeting people and forming relationships. I wanted to meet new people and I had no problem just walking to café and eating with total strangers. I was very confident in who in I was. Becky on the other hand enjoyed staying in our room and had a hard time talking with people who she didn’t know. I always say that she quieted me down and I got her to open up. I encouraged her to have friendships and be comfortable with hanging out with the people on our floor, even if I wasn’t around. We both overcame a lot that year and I am so glad we got through all the hard times.

Today I cannot imagine my life without Becky in it. We lived together all four years of college and then three and a half years after college. Becky is the best. She is also a Maid of Honor in my wedding. I am a little extra and I needed to have two. Becky has been there with me through the single years, the relationships, the break ups, etc. She was the very person I told after Kevin and I got engaged. We have a special bond and she is like my sister. I always tell her she can never move too far away because we need to have babies around the same time and experience motherhood together. We are both currently engaged which has been so fun because once my wedding is over I can jump right in and help with planning hers.

Some friends you only stay in touch with for a short time, others you can know most of your life. Some people just pop into your life right when you really need them. I love meeting new people but there are a select few from college who I will just always be connected to. We have gone through a lot together. We have seen one another struggle, fall apart, and work hard to pick the pieces up again. In friendships you encourage and you are honest and you help your friends to be the very best versions of themselves, all while hoping they will do the same for you.